Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's been a Remarkable 2 Weeks

It has been 2 weeks since 16 April. The day i stumbled in life. 

It's been 2 weeks of disbelief, denial, anger and despair. Acceptance eventually comes, providing the episode a closure. 

But it's remarkable. 

No, i do not mean my 2 weeks journey. It's but a little blip in my brief existence.
What is remarkable is the support that has been thrown my way, so great that i am humbled. 

I have never been a particularly amiable, or pleasant guy. I do not always do the right thing. 

My Mum and my Poodle, Lucky

Many a time i have been less than a good son to my mum. I did not always have her best interest in my mind when i made decisions in life. I had not been a great brother to my elder bro too. I kicked him in the nuts when i was young. 

My Bro and I 

Sorry i just can't help being cheeky

I was headstrong in choosing to come to pursue medicine in Singapore, even though i already had a place in UKM (National University of Malaysia), which was so close to home. Little did i realise the magnitude of the decision that i so recklessly committed to, without giving much thoughts of what would become of my family and me. 

I was naive then. Why was everyone making so much fuss when all i was doing was to choose my own tertiary education? 

One day i just weeped, the full weight of the sudden realisation crashing down on me. The decision was really on my life, not just tertiary education. 

Bonded to the government, I am obliged to work in Singapore for 7 years on top of the 5 years spent studying medicine.

It's 12 long years that i will merely be a presence on the other end of the telephone. I will not be able to share fully the pain that my family goes through. I will not be able to savour completely the joy that my family experiences. I will not be able to tend to my mum when she falls sick. I will not be there to see my nephew/niece taking his/her first step, muttering his/her first word. I am missing so much that it hurts. I want to be part of their everyday life so badly. 

Now, I can only conjure their journeys from imaginations. That will have to do. 

Leaving all that was part of me behind, I arrived in Singapore to start a new chapter of my life. 

I must have sowed plenty of good karma, for i am blessed with so many great friends in these 5 years. Those who went through medical school with me, those who stayed in KE, and all others whose life paths somehow crossed mine. 

Many a time i leave so much to be desired in my dealings with friends. I am brunt, inconsiderate, full of myself, ignorant, impatient, and the list just goes on and on. i am really sorry. 

For all the moments that i was being a good friend, there were many more that i felt so deficient. For all the joy that i brought to my friends, i caused more sorrow and trouble. 

Despite all these, you guys forgive my shortcomings and when i fall, lend me your support so willingly, and in such abundance. So many of you have cared for my well being, in all manners possible for the past 2 weeks. 

I am really touched, really grateful for all of you. 

Dear friends all, both in Singapore and Malaysia, thank you so much for being here with me. 

Dear mum and bro, thanks for never doubting me, and provide me with a haven that i can take refuge in, both emotionally and physically. 

Life has been good to me, and it's indeed a remarkable 2 weeks. 

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