Just for Laughs #12 - A Crazy Patient

*SW = something wrong

Me:                         Morning! How can i help you, ma’am?

Auntie SW:         The rain was really heavy out there.

Me:                         Yup, it’s been raining season lately. How can i help you?

Auntie SW:         You see, i have this condition A that requires me to take warfarin, i have been taking it for ......

(rambling on and on about her disease for the last 10 years for 5 minutes while i was busy accessing my terminal for her old records in the hospital)

Me:                         Yes, i see that you have this condition for the last 10 years, and your last INR test done yesterday was great! But can you tell me what brings you here today?

Auntie SW:         Oh ok.

She flipped out a referral letter from her private cardiologist that she saw this morning. It was directed to the cardiology team taking care of her in my hospital, with a recommendation to lower her dose of warfarin.

Me:                         Hmm. You just saw your cardiologist this morning, and this letter is directed to the National Heart Centre. Where do i fit in this picture?

Auntie SW:         Oh i am going for a cataract operation in 2 weeks time in your hospital.

Me:                         So?

Auntie SW:         Can you please help me update my new warfarin dose in your computer system?

Me:                         Auntie, do you realise this visit costs you 90 dollar?

Auntie SW:         Yes i do.

Me:                         You could have just waited for the day you come for the operation and let them know of your new warfarin dose you know? The nurses then will serve you warfarin at your new dose.

Auntie SW:         But... what if they serve me the wrong dose? I can die from that!!

Me:                         Auntie...... No one dies from bleeding from a cataract op, even if you have warfarin on board. And you could have saved this 90 dollar by showing them the letter on day of admission.

Auntie SW:         Nevermind, i can pay the 90 dollar. Just update my new dosage on your computer for me.

Me:                         Auntie i can’t do that. My emergency room’s record do now show on their electronic prescription database.

Auntie SW:         Can you just try?

Me:                         It can’t be done. (My heart rate presently 140/minutes)

Auntie SW:         Really?

Me:                         Yes.... Auntie, why don’t i just cancel your visit and save you the 90 dollar? You just show your letter on admission as i have told you just now.

Auntie SW:         Hmm... Can you do an INR test for me today? I am willing to pay 90 dollar for that.

Me:                         YOU HAD JUST DONE AN INR TEST YESTERDAY! WHAT’S THE POINT? AND PAYING 90 DOLLAR JUST FOR A TEST ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!!!

(i mildly raised my voice. just mildly, believe me. really. )

Auntie SW:         (sheepishly) Ok then. I go home then. You really cancelling my visit for real?

Me:                         YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Auntie SW:         Ok then. Bye. (walking out, then turning back) I really don’t need an INR test today?

Me:                         YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Bye.

Went through the trouble of erasing my entries and instructed the nurses to cancel the visit. So much trouble for saving 90 dollars. She might be dirty rich, despite the haggard clothing.

Was half way through my another consult when i heard a door knock, and the door was opened without me acknowledging first.

Auntie SW:         (popping her head in) Why don’t you uncancel my visit and do an INR test for me?

Me:                         (Heart rate 180/minute, face flushed with anger) I AM NOT GOING TO DO AN INR TEST FOR YOU AND YOU STOP WASTING MY TIME! GRRRRRRRRRRR

Auntie SW:         Ok ok... sorry.... (sheepishly went out again)


Being a doctor is a real health hazard. My cardiovascular risk must have gone through the roof that day.

Just for Laughs #11 - These Kids Are Really Damn Brilliant

You've gotta give it to them. I wish i had the foresight. 

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

And yes you can also see how dumb mass media can be. 

Just for Laughs #10 - Lame

This could be me, if i was female, white, plump, and well-off (see the necklace and awesome kitchen). 

Just some random picture that resonated with my being. Haha. 

Just for Laughs #8

* The internet connection was acting up for the past few days, can't seem to log into blogger.com at all. 

Fractured Penis

Stumbled upon this 2 days back on this blog which happened to have stumbled upon this on another blog. 

What do you think happened? 

(Don't go groping for that bone ya... )

Just for Laughs #7 (The Unintentional Perverse by Malaysian Airlines)

For the past few days i haven't been able to focus on the news while reading The Star Online. 

My attention wavers every few seconds from the news item. It's getting really frustrated. 

It's something about the Malaysian Airlines. 

The crews waiting anxiously in their sometimes overly tight uniform. 

Something about Brisbane. 

Brisbane is one great place to be in. I love the weather there. (lifted from here)

Something about Safari. 

There's something very Singaporean about this picture... Ah.. They ACTUALLY queue. Oi hurry up!

Just across the causeway. 

(Anyway this is a record breaking Irish setter by giving birth to 16 puppies. A much meaningful feat than making teh tarik in the space. Read here.)

Something keeps... distracting me on my screen. It's just plain perverse. 

Gickr.com

Gosh look at the dolphin's eye. I swear it looks dreamy!

I had been there. But I didn't get to do this go Dolphin Safari.

But these guys seem to know Brisbane really well. 

That explains the glee. Woohoo! 

(If you are getting wet in Brisbane, go visit this website. Did i say wet? I meant wed. Getting old these days)

Now when are you going to Brisbane?

Or you rather go here? 

Disclaimer: I am straight. Even though I am staying in a double room with a muscular Indian hunk. Hi Nesa. haha

Thanks for the flash of doubt ya. 

Just for Laughs #6 (Don't Pop Your Nuts!)

And every doctor in the hospitals (in Singapore) is carrying 2 phones in their pockets... And they don't stop ringing!!!

The next time their phones are ringing all the time in your presence, don't hold grudge against them for making you wait ok? Just think of meatballs in a microwave. Popping. 

Smoking hot. Try replacing that Swedish Flag to Singaporean one too.

Pray for our doctors' balls fertility ya?

 

Just For Laughs #5

Came across this last week when i was doing my little part in the great Water Cycle.

Senior Minister Goh doing his part in the great neWater Cycle too. The other end of the spectrum though. Only in Singapore!

REAL MEN AIM RIGHT

Some doctor came later the day and tried to be cheeky.  

'OR LEFT ? UP? DOWN?'

The reply came swiftly. 

The way that best suits your 'equipment' to achieve the desired result of the art of perfect urination. 

The other use of THE equipment. Can you see the dog's expression! 

What are your thoughts on pee-stained toilet seats?

---

Here are some other 'artworks' in the toilets. 

 

Such wisdom! (Really.) Unfortunately I couldn't make out the replies. 

*Here's a great read for everyone who has an opinion on religions. If you don't, formulate one then go read. Thanks to Pacey for sharing.

Hmm... That's really... subtle.

Don't laugh! Why are you making fun of serious efforts to conserve the environment. Tsk tsk.  

Just for Laughs #4

Went to Clementi for groceries 2 days back with my Almighty. As we were waiting for another friend to arrive we decided to spend some time browsing at a bookshop above NTUC. 

'Hmm it's a lil bit too high ya, how can they expect kids to reach this button?' I was reaching for the button of the elevator.

'Hmm the button's a lil bit stiff as well.' Try as i might i could not press the button in. 'That's the problem with aging commercial centres', i mused to myself. 

Suddenly I felt somebody staring at me on my right, and instinctively i turned to meet that gaze. It was some random fellow shooting me this incredulous look. 

This guy's gonna need botox on his right-sided forehead soon. 

'What the hell? Did i not zip my flies or what?' But i never commit that mistake...

Then Almighty roared with laughters and hit my head. 'You are pressing on the indicator lah you idiot!' she giggled. 

No wonder the buttons were all so high up... 

Just for Laughs #3 (not too tasteful ya)

Came across this funny survey that tells you how much you are worth on bed, in my case, as a gigolo. 

Takes around 3 minutes to complete. 



Now how much does $1132/hr measure up to everyone else? 

Not that bad huh. Any taker? 

Just for Laughs #2

Nutty Buddy

The manufacturer is really creative in naming the products. 

Don't know what it is? Try harder!

(via Digg.com)

Just for Laughs #1

Jewish Peppers

I JUST have to show this to you guys, haha.